Millennial Feminism - Are we doing it right?

Photo by Sharon Christina Rørvik on Unsplash

Do you agree that you should not set boundaries on what a woman can achieve? Do you think that anything a man can justly do, a woman can do it too? If your answer is yes there you go, you are a Feminist! The definition of Feminism is "a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish and achieve political, economic, personal, and social equality of sexes." Even though these are deemed to be the fundamental human rights not many are fortunate enough to experience the same, but I am the lucky ones. Being born as a woman didn't stop my family or friends from letting me follow my dreams instead they imparted me the skills to fight for what is right and how to love ferociously and ardently. I couldn't have been a freewheeling roving spirit without my support system which I call "family.” In fact, they were all unpremeditatedly vouching for feminism. We need more of such feminists to change this world for better.

It's not acceptable to be tagged by gender and to set limits on what an individual can do. Have I ever felt discouraged? Yes, from the very same slice of society who have a different mindset about being a woman. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that a woman doesn’t need a man in her life. Being a feminist doesn’t entitle that a woman won’t give birth. Also, being a woman doesn’t mean that she can’t be single, or she can’t be childfree. It’s all about their choice as an individual to choose what they want in life.

However, it's disappointing to see that these days the interpretation of feminism has watered down to nothing more than a petite psychotic marketing campaign. We need to do so much more than just the hash tags. I feel those so-called movements only undermines the real idea of feminism. This contemporary feminism is more like the useless rants that just echo on the internet, and I don't think it has so much to do with the real scenario. If youngsters like you and me could make use of this time to instill some knowledge to a child despite the gender about the power of education, equality, the necessity to respect our counterparts, self-worth, and self-love to develop a feminist consciousness within, there comes the revolution.

I live in a country where the woman is being fairly treated and respected as an individual. However even I have noticed incidences wherein women were being rude to their fellow beings. For me, it looks like a weak attempt of feminists rhetoric to get attention. Please don't misunderstand, I am not trying to make a sweeping assumption here, but when male miscues are all-encompassing denunciation; objecting to such loose statement is considered as an indication of conspiracy. Concurrently, similar impeachments of women need to contemplate as sheer bigotry. I second the controversial comment which earned Margret Atwood as a bad feminist title recently’ ‘women are human beings, with the full range of saintly and demonic behaviors, this entails, including criminal ones. They're not angels, incapable of wrongdoing. If they were, we wouldn't need a legal system”.

What we need to understand is that as Feminism, its rambunctious backers pledge all about scouting for equality. Feminism isn't an act of opposing all men across the globe instead feminism is a movement against all folks who consider women as a weak gender, who’s potential role is to give birth. Both men and women should have the equal freedom to express their unfeigned emotions. Both men and women should feel free to be tenacious. It is high time that we all recognize these genders as two sides of the same pole, not as two contradictory sets of standards. For that feminism should have men, not reasonably as supporting system but shoulder to shoulder as collaborators, with an equal voice for humanity. Let’s be all the advocates of peace, equality, and love. We all deserve it!

Happy women’s day

Lust, Like, on the way to LOVE !

You were the beautiful fear I had

Your ‘Hi’ had made my days

You were my castle in the air

You called it Like!

And I called it Love...

My fears, just flauntings

My pains, just dramas

You said, Be Strong!

You said, To Grow up!

You Said, Don’t cry!

It was never your mistake

Yes, I was being sophomoric

When I look back

Did I clutter out of my path?

I believed clinging on is what makes us stronger,

But I learned letting go is what takes mettle.

With fine fettle and certitude I reached the high noon,

Ergo I reflected upon my sheepishness.

For I picked what many chase

Now You and I

Just two souls at two poles

I thank you for helping me

To find the better person in me!

P.S :Our inclinations and emotions don’t make us fragile; they make us capable and refined !!

Happy weekend ♥♥♥

JUDGE TO ‘CARVE’ NOT TO ‘CUT’ !!

I always believed that people who smoke, who drink, who dope or who have been in multiple relationships are the ones I should be staying away from, I know it was such a silly thought of mine. But time and experience have proved me wrong, though I would state that I won’t vouch for it. The impulse to judge others is an innate process in all of us, and is a substratal footing for many vital elements in our lives. It doesn’t matter how much ever well you choose to live your life there will be someone to judge you with either good or bad motives.

I’m not stating that I'm flawless and have never been sorry for judging others. There have been far too many incidents where I goofed up because of  my quick judgment or rather I am afraid to say that it’s been based on my prejudice and bias towards some  people which eventually led to my losing out  on potential good friends. But when I judge someone, I don't feel good about myself not even for a while. For a fact I wouldn't want anybody gossiping about me and I've always held on to the teaching of treating others how I want to be treated. I just wish that we would take a minute to have a check about how our opinions, statements and logics can have an impact on another person.

Nobody likes to be judged because no one else can fully understand our predicament or why we do it or what for we do it. It’s not rare to hear or to find ourselves saying “You just don’t understand,” or “Try walking a while in my shoes.” we believe that no one is fully qualified to judge our behavior. And it’s undeniable that no mere mortal can exactly judge each and every deed we execute.

Not all judgments are bad or misguiding or insane. But many of them are. Being Judgmental can be good in instances when we are doing it for our personal improvement or when our manager or mentor is judging our performance and giving feedback for our improvement. In our life decisions are inevitable; sometimes many of these will be associated with making a judgment about our fellow human being. It seems to me that what's crucial is to be open to other opinions too and to recheck them if possible to know whether you can take them into your life. Also, it’s advisable to pay heed to other people’s opinion; we might end up learning something.

 My point is, judgments are neither good nor bad. They are indeed a weapon to be used, to mould us into a better person.

P.S: So my suggestion for the week ahead (because I need to do this myself!): P

Judge with integrity and guide what can be more appropriate.

Judge to extract the best out of everyone.

Judge to inspire people, knowing the fact that every one of us has the equal right to live our life.
Judge not to shatter people, it reflects our insecurity.

Judge neither to pull someone down nor to cast them aside.

Keep in mind that when you point a finger there are three fingers pointing back at you. Be compassionate to yourself and to others J

Let's smile and connect

    Photo by Kyle Sterk on Unsplash

People love to connect. Even if you are an introvert, haven’t you felt the urge to connect to people?

Look around you, wherever you are, wherever you go you will be surrounded by human faces. It’s the distinct human individuality that connects all the human souls across the world. Ultimately, we are all very much alike, striving to be all that we can be throughout the journey of life. Despite the kaleidoscope of genders, colors, nationalities, thoughts…I could always find some ground on which we could stand together. The innate tendency to laugh, the looming reality of death, the various phobias, the necessity to love, and the impulse to cry, we humans are like pearls of a necklace bonded to each other.

Sometimes, I think we never value a person as much as we should, at least I didn’t. The world is moving in such a breakneck speed that we hardly ever stop to say hello. Not long ago, while travelling in a bus, there was this little boy sitting beside me munching on a chocolate. My mind was entangled in the many trepidations of my life, when I realized he had been observing me for quite a long time. But I was too worn out and not really in the best mood to bother. Out of the blue, he offered me one of his chocolates, announcing that he had plentiful of it stocked in his bag. His generous attitude and curiosity to connect was amusingly surprising. Eventually we struck a dialogue which continued till the end of the journey. There was so much we talked about-his little friends, mommy, grandparents…It was like a flashback to my own childhood. He was like a breeze of fresh air that took away all the burdens I had been carrying throughout the day. All because of that little one’s amazing inquisitiveness. Though I am a chatterbox, I always have an initial struggle to connect with people. Had it not been for the little one, we would have had a silent uneventful journey and to be honest, at that moment I wasn’t even bothered, but when I look back, it was all worth it...It still makes me smile

Human connections bring a magical touch to our lives; if not for our friends we would have been alone in a crowd. We are social animals. So people, let’s get connected!!

P.S: Let’s do it!!

·         Listen to people who are in trouble and tell them I understand.

·         Share your life with others.

·         Say hello to random people

·         Be connected with love ones all it takes is a few minutes to text a message.

·         Won’t it be great to be the reason behind someone’s smile?

Have a great day!

Being Thankful When Life Is A Bed of Roses, The Thorns Intact!

Greetings Friends!

It has come to my attention… seems to convey my heart almost off and on, always there is a new thing happening. My life in the last few months has been taking a roller coaster ride - you know up, down, up, down!!

Nothing is permanent, our lives keeps on changing. Some days things feels to be going extremely right and it seems that we are hitting all the right notes whereas some days everything turns to be out of order, things just don't cooperate. When life is going well, gratitude allows us to glorify and enhance the goodness, we humans simply like that! But what about when life goes badly? Being grateful in our bad times can seem incredibly tough and complicated especially if you have had more than your share of ill luck. I find it too hard and many a times I even resigned myself to the rotten dejection's.

Some small instances in the recent past aided me to to know that whenever I feel worried, sad or hopeless I should change my attitude and start to count my blessings. Surprisingly when I started to do so I felt I am blessed. Looking back, that feels like an easiest solution to realize that how many things I have to appreciate in my life. However, we often take things for granted. We get addicted to all the options we have - the people, luxuries and the serenity of our lives. If we need to be serious about our gratitude practice, we must also learn to be truly grateful on those hard times too. Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that gratitude will come easily or naturally in crisis but I can pretty much assure that practicing gratitude can transform your life. It’s isn't easy anytime, many times I couldn't be grateful in my life and I get frustrated with things but then I try to bounce back.

Occasionally even people who come across our life can help us to feel grateful about our self in bad times. Say, if you fail a test, and you are informed that “I’m sorry you didn't pass the test”. This might simply make you feel down. On the other hand, along with this piece of information if they also assist you in realizing what more you need help with, or what aspects you have to concentrate more. If they also remind you to be thankful about your individual capabilities, things go different. This motivates you to reciprocate the good deeds. In turn, they will have even more reasons to feel gratitude.

As a child when I used to crib for the little luxuries which I didn't have, my mom always used to remind me, that I am more blessed than millions of other people. I never realize the gravity of her logic's until the day I stepped into a psychiatric Institution for doing my internship. There were lot of people who were probably unlike friends you and I have now. There I found different classes of people-the rich, the commoners and even a massive homeless population with mental illnesses. Mental sickness is a great big bug-a-boo and unraveling all about it seems to be impossible… quite scary right? This time I not only had to remind myself how much I have that others don’t, but also how many others are toiling far more than I. Money, power, nothing can replace a destabilized brain, and we are blessed!

In this materialistic world we tend look at the empty half of the glass. What we forget is that the glass is half full too. The most important questions we can ask our self today is, did we wake up this morning with a roof over our head, with food to eat, water to drink, cloth to cover? No doubt we are more blessed. Though we simply put this under the basic standards of human amenities but the reality is that major share of world population is craving for these basic necessities.

When we begin to feel obliged, even for every single obstacle that life throws at us, we learn to acknowledge the situations without friction. We accept things as they are and we go with the flow.

P.s :

Ø  Let’s  make a gratitude list adding things that happened to you and count your blessings daily

Ø  Cultivate the habit of finding something to applause about every person, circumstances, or experience you come across.

Ø  Try to be with people who simply see the silver lining in every darkest cloud.

Ø  Say thank you to everyone (and mean every bit of it!) who cares for you, blesses you, Nurtures your soul

Cheers  J

The floor is yours, now how do you try to be grateful even in the darker situations of life? Do share your positive energy, experiences, encouragement for a deeper insight.

The Art of Letting Go, Finding Emotional Closures!!

 Photo by Havilah Galaxy on Unsplash

Lately “Letting go” has been a pivotal ritual that is constantly changing the dynamics of my reality. It is a major precept of mending that is barely discussed. Though we live in a fast moving world why is it taking so much of time and conscious efforts to let go of our thoughts and feelings? Have you ever thought about it? Bit surprising, right? We all have loads of baggage's in our lives which we are striving to let go. Embarrassments, a relationship that was already over, failures, bitterness of betrayal, a past life that is now only a shadow, loss of dear ones, anger, hatred, negative thoughts, doubts, a desire to know, leaving one’s comfort zone or familiar situations the list goes on and on. What are we doing with all these burdens? We tightly hold on to our hurt, our rage, and our embarrassments, which will end up in altering our actions in the present.

Why is it so challenging and grievous to let go? There are countless answers as there are questions but one element I have noticed they all have in general is that, letting go is a process of moving into the unknown. I am not sure about everyone but I have had a major habit of replaying my regrets, failures over and over again, and still am working on getting rid of this habit. At times I used to clutch on to my frustrations and worries with the belief that doing so would somehow empower me to achieve what I wanted. This emotional immaturity earned me nothing but the nickname of “cry baby” among peoples especially my friends. Eventually, I realized it will do nothing but deteriorate my body and mind. It was high time to push on and change my ways. It took me a long time to get along with the art of letting go and even longer to accept, that some things weren’t destined for me.

From my small experiences, let me share some steps which aided me in letting go of emotions and situations. By the way for me the process is still on, and there’s even more to go! I find letting go as a troublesome mechanism, but in my experience taking that one step can do wonders in your life. Before you start off on the path of finding closure, for taking it all out of your system, take some time for yourself to have a check on what actually happened to you. Open up your heart to dear ones; cry it out, shout, scream do whatever you feel like you need to do to get over it. I bet we can’t find a better way of doing this than sharing it all with your friends and family. We need to take some time out of the busy schedules to relax, to put things on the right track and to let go. Take a break from our daily routines, no phones, no internet.

And yet if it happens that you find it hard to cut yourself from the same instances and from the same people, it is time to engage with the world around you. Keep a watch on how the world moves around you, see how people are engrossed in living there own present. Observe the minute changes in nature like a dandelion flying in the wind. Start doing something that you really love to do. A book, music, game, painting, writing…anything you fancy!

Forgiveness is also another inevitable part of letting go. Primarily work on forgiving yourself, then the situation and people; don’t let your thoughts wander down that road again. Forgiveness is imperative for finding an emotional closure. Without forgiveness, you are the only one who carries the burden of negative emotions with you, permitting them to bother every aspect of your present life. Forgiveness is a beautiful option that we can opt for to get away from our emotional traumas of anger, hatred and bitterness. The choice to forgiving is not always easy but for sure a necessary one.

I believe letting go of bad incidents, notions, thoughts and even people is an unfolding action for anyone who wishes to grow spiritually. Moreover it’s a vital need to cleanse our soul. To become a better person to know ourselves more, we need to let go of things and people. So let us work towards it as much as possible, not when we are under stress and have no other way out, but currently, while we are strong enough to take an effective decision for ourselves. Life isn’t easy anytime, it keeps hurting, taunting, but we keep moving. Sit back and enjoy the process of letting go as often as you can. Every occasion is a chance to let go and feel composed.

So friends, brush off the dust and the cobwebs off your mind and soul, and open the windows of your heart to let the rays of new ideas, experiences, people, life, lighten up your world.

Cheers J

The ground is yours what are you clinging on to that’s holding you back? What’s the first step usually you take to letting go?

Do share your perceptions